I felt this would be a fitting topic for me to write about considering I am currently going through a breakup. In fact, I took some time away from this blog to process through all of my emotions and figure out how to carry on (dramatic much?). All relationships are different and come with their fair share of problems, regardless, the heartbreak can be deafening. There are numerous ways to help yourself move on after a breakup and it is different for everyone. I wish chocolate and wine solved all problems, unfortunately we are not that lucky.
Cry your little heart out
I am a firm believer in the positive effects of crying. Check out a previous post of mine to find out why. You can feel many emotions after a breakup…anger, sadness, maybe even happiness? But if you do feel the need to cry I implore you to give in. Give yourself that time to feel somber and gloomy. Watch romantic movies, drink all the wine, flip through pictures from your relationship and let all the sadness flow out through your tears and say good riddance. It’s really quite refreshing to give into those feelings. And if you don’t do it now, it will most likely catch up to you one day and you could find yourself bawling in a Target parking lot after you couldn’t find the curtains you came for (it happens to the best of us).
Surround yourself with people that make you happy
After you’ve paddled your way out of your sea of tears, it’s time you surround yourself with those that want the best for you. You may have the type of friends that want to come over and cheer you up with hugs and romantic comedies, or they may be the type that want to take you out for a night on the town to help you forget your sorrows. Personally, I prefer the latter. You’ve cried out all of your tears, so you’ll need a little laughter and new good memories in your life. I know how isolating it can feel after a breakup. So remind yourself that no one is ever completely alone and, eventually, life moves on to bigger and better things.
Try not to become bitter
I have noticed myself being more of a bitter bitch since my relationship ended. Recently one of my good friends got engaged and my first thought was how, besides myself, she was the last one in our circle of close friends that was not yet married. Of course, I am beyond happy for her, but it’s situations such as this that can you make you feel like you’ll be a single, crazy cat lady forever (I only own one cat for now, but I am constantly resisting the urge to take in all the strays). It can be easy to become a Negative Nancy after your relationship just crashed and burned. So now is the time to remember those words your mother taught you long ago, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Let the thoughts run through your mind, but it may be best to not speak them out loud. Allowing that negative energy to surround you will only cause your unhappiness to last longer.
Get back out there
You don’t have to jump into another long-term relationship. But perhaps some casual flirting over Tinder or Bumble or a few fun dates can help snap you out of your funk. Maybe your friends have some single friends and you can get a group date together. I’ve always loved group dates because it takes some of the pressure off by having more people to join in on a conversation. At the very least, you’ll have more people to catch you when you stumble after that third shot of tequila.
Remember that being in a relationship does not define you
You don’t need a man (or woman) to make you happy and make your life “complete.” I’ve always believed that you will never be able to be happy with someone else if you are not first happy with yourself. Towards the end of my relationship I was miserable with myself. My relationship had been falling apart for some time and I let myself fall apart with it. Maybe this has happened to you recently as well. So let’s use this opportunity to build ourselves up to be better, badder bitches.
Heartbreaks will definitely make you a stronger person. That doesn’t mean it gets any easier. What do you like to do to help yourself move on from a breakup? Let us all know in the comments below!